Poetry

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Garry R

Poetry

Post by Garry R » Thu Apr 17, 2008 4:19 pm

While recovering from falling downstairs at the weekend and with a very sore back in spasm I mused on boat restoration and came up with the following to be sung in the style of Flanders and Swann and the Gas Man cometh!! Hope you have a laugh.



‘Twas on a Sunday evening - I hadn’t much to do
TV was pretty awful and the weather too
I thought I’d go on ebay to seek a dinghy boat
Some glueing here some varnish there would have me soon afloat.

Oh it all makes work for the sailing man to do....

‘Twas on a Monday evening, ebay sent me a docket
For one, one, one, and Gannet turned out were Merlin Rockets
Advertised as sailable, needing Tender Loving Care
With varnish flakes, delaminates - corrosion everywhere

Oh it all makes work for the sailing man to do......

‘Twas on a Tuesday evening the heat gun was applied
The paint and varnish stuck like glue no matter how I tried
With Nitromors and caustic (cos that’s all that I’d got)
The paint removed at long, long last revealed substantial rot

Oh it all makes work for the sailing man to do......

‘Twas on a Wednesday evening that I thought "What the heck
To do the job correctly it seems a whole new deck
Is needed for these Merlins” my blood began to simmer
As I made the call to Bristol for some quotes from Robbins Timber.

Oh it all makes work for the sailing man to do.....

‘Twas on a Thursday evening I sawed and planed my best
And mixed two part epoxy – the finest stuff from West
I slapped it on and carefully lined up the Elitest of the ply
And clamped it on and matched the grain with looks to satisfy.

Oh it all makes work for the sailing man to do......

‘Twas on a Friday evening that I began to sand
With 100 grit and sanding block and final smooth by hand
I coated it with sealer – three coats to get it right
Then brushed and cut back DuraGloss to have it shining bright

Oh it all makes work for the sailing man to do......

‘Twas on a Saturday morning the first good sailing day
I launched the boat at Forfar – that’s really far away
We set off up the first beat she really does sail well
When a port tack Flying Fifteen knocked my Gannet all to hell

Oh it all makes work for the sailing man to do......

On Sundays boat restorers surf the web with a zealot’s will
So ‘twas on a Monday morning that ebay sent the bill…….

alan williams
Posts: 1649
Joined: Thu Sep 16, 2004 10:44 pm
Location: Devon

Re: Poetry

Post by alan williams » Fri Apr 18, 2008 12:44 pm

Hi Garry Don't give up the day job.
Al

roger
Posts: 3026
Joined: Mon Sep 20, 2004 12:08 pm
Location: Frome Somerset UK

Re: Poetry

Post by roger » Tue Apr 22, 2008 8:23 am

Please stick to what you do best......... ie browsing ebay etc.
Hornet 191 Shoestring,
Hornet 595 Demon awaiting restoration
Hornet 610 Final Fling
Hornet 353

Michael Brigg
Posts: 1662
Joined: Fri Jul 06, 2007 7:11 pm
Location: Gosport, UK

Re: Poetry

Post by Michael Brigg » Tue Apr 22, 2008 9:58 am

It is said that Neanderthal man, (A "Classic and Vintage" model, definately)
Was unable to make his rhyme scan. (Surely a design flaw)
So this ancient meat eater, ( Garry?? Is he?)
Invented a meter.
And now his poetry can!

....Sorry!
Michael Brigg

Garry R

Re: Poetry

Post by Garry R » Tue Apr 22, 2008 11:31 am

Do remember that this is supposed to be sung to the original tune and as such there is some artistic licence (pauses etc) as regards scanning which doesn't come over when it is read!! So hum the tune and you might enjoy it better!! A choir at Clywedog perhaps!!??

Liked the limerick Michael!!

Michael Brigg
Posts: 1662
Joined: Fri Jul 06, 2007 7:11 pm
Location: Gosport, UK

Re: Poetry

Post by Michael Brigg » Tue Apr 22, 2008 11:53 am

Its not sailing but this one made me think of Garry, perhaps in his later later years. For whom the beach party beckons. waiting with bent back for the navigators return, confined also to "static job" holding the empty launch trolley by the water,s edge.

Curtacy again of those clever chaps on Radio 4.

“On his declining powers at Tennis”

(with apologies to John Milton)

When I consider how my forehand’s spent,
Left in the veterans doubles, for a gentle hack.
And that one talent which I had, and now I lack;
Lodged with me, useless. In arthritic knee unbent,
To serve, at speed my Dunlop with intent
Now hits my partner’s rear end with a smack.
“Does He expect clean aces from a frozen back?”
I fondly ask.
But partner, to prevent my tantrum soon replies
“I do not need either your volley or your top-spin lob,
Your fluffed return, with neither slice nor swerve.
For fetching drop shots I have all the speed.
With your knees you’re confined to static job!”

They also rate, who only stand and serve.


And here below for comparison to show the true skill of those whose art we seek to imitate or preserve.



On becoming Blind at a young age,
John Milton wrote this sonnet;

When I consider how my light is spent,
‘Ere half my days in this dark world and wide,
And that One Talent which is death to hide,
Lodged with me, useless, though my soul more bent
To serve therewith my maker, and present my true account,
Lest He returning chide.
“Doth God exact day labour, Light denied?” I promptly ask.
The patience to prevent that murmur soon replies,
“God doth not need either man’s work or his own gifts.
Who best bear his mild yoke; they serve Him best.
His state is Kingly. Thousands at His bidding speed,
And post to a land a notion without rest.”

They also serve, who only stand and wait.
Michael Brigg

Garry R

Re: Poetry

Post by Garry R » Tue Apr 22, 2008 12:39 pm

Yep - I can relate to the aching back and the arthritic knee. You did however forget the increased blood pressure, the diabetes and of course the ever diminishing bladder capacity!!!

Michael Brigg
Posts: 1662
Joined: Fri Jul 06, 2007 7:11 pm
Location: Gosport, UK

Re: Poetry

Post by Michael Brigg » Tue Apr 22, 2008 12:58 pm

Since Milton was at this time blind we might suppose perhaps diabetes is in the frame at some point with the retinopathy. It would perhaps be improper to delve into other effects of diabetes but Milton's "Paradise lost" certainly puts him in the part of a spectator where Adam and Eve are concerned.

There was some spirited debate at the launch of Viagra about a suitable name for a Female version of the same. On reflection "Vivette" would do very well! It echoes the name of a well known contraceptive pill, is distinctly feminine and also shares a diabetic ownership!

Lets try the weak bladder. Continuing along the Viagra Vivette string, the manufacturer is Pfizer pharmaceuticals... It is said that you cannot hear a Pteradactyl go to the lavatory because the "P" is silent. A weak bladder perhaps ,or just a silent "P"rostate?!
Michael Brigg

DavidC
Posts: 216
Joined: Thu Jan 20, 2005 5:04 pm
Location: United Kingdom

Re: Poetry

Post by DavidC » Tue Apr 22, 2008 1:55 pm

I tried it at the piano with the original F&S music and it works just fine. May have to include it at some suitable sailing event in the future!!!!! Brill. :lol:

alan williams
Posts: 1649
Joined: Thu Sep 16, 2004 10:44 pm
Location: Devon

Re: Poetry

Post by alan williams » Tue Apr 22, 2008 2:26 pm

Hi Dave Prefer Basil Commodore of Baabbacombe SC version.
Al

DavidC
Posts: 216
Joined: Thu Jan 20, 2005 5:04 pm
Location: United Kingdom

Re: Poetry

Post by DavidC » Tue Apr 22, 2008 2:42 pm

Hi Alan,

I am open to collecting loads of different repertoire for use when appropriate!

cheers
D

roger
Posts: 3026
Joined: Mon Sep 20, 2004 12:08 pm
Location: Frome Somerset UK

Re: Poetry

Post by roger » Tue Apr 22, 2008 2:56 pm

Looks like the band is booked for the nationals now :shock:
Hornet 191 Shoestring,
Hornet 595 Demon awaiting restoration
Hornet 610 Final Fling
Hornet 353

alan williams
Posts: 1649
Joined: Thu Sep 16, 2004 10:44 pm
Location: Devon

Re: Poetry

Post by alan williams » Tue Apr 22, 2008 3:52 pm

Hi Roger the only thing that I can play is the fool.
Cheers Al

Michael Brigg
Posts: 1662
Joined: Fri Jul 06, 2007 7:11 pm
Location: Gosport, UK

Re: Poetry

Post by Michael Brigg » Tue Apr 22, 2008 4:18 pm

An authentic rendering of Flanders and swan requires an ability to make spontaneous translations into Russian, mid song. I have heard this on an archive recording of The Hippopotomas song in the falsetto verse.(Those boys at Radio4 again!)

Swan was a Russian refugee originally. Flanders was at Christchurch in Oxford. At his interview he was initially told there was "no place for cripples at Oxford!!!"
Michael Brigg

Garry R

Re: Poetry

Post by Garry R » Tue Apr 22, 2008 6:32 pm

Stephanie Flanders the BBC's new economics editor is Flander's daughter. Now did you ever think that joining the CVRDA would give you nuggets of knowledge such as this!!!

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