Off Topic posts from Handicap Racing thread

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Michael Brigg
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Location: Gosport, UK

Off Topic posts from Handicap Racing thread

Post by Michael Brigg » Mon Jan 05, 2009 5:33 pm

Rupert said:-
It's something that has been in the back of my mind to do when the kids are a little older and my knees a little more shot...
It's just a bit of fun, but all this talk of older boats and even older helms, and how this might affect our performance brings to mind the similar decline of other, perhaps more illustrious authors.

Poetry please or some similar Radio4 comedy quiz came up with this little pastiche which I felt compelled to listen to repeatedlty on the listen again facility until I had written it all down.

It has a resonance I think with some of what is being expressed in this thread.

“On his declining powers at Tennis”

(with apologies to John Milton)

When I consider how my forehand’s spent,
Left in the veteran’s doubles, for a gentle hack.
And that one talent which I had, and now I lack;
Lodged with me, useless. In arthritic knee unbent
To serve at speed, my Dunlop with intent
Now hits my partner’s rear end with a smack.
“Does He expect clean aces from a frozen back?”
I fondly ask.
But partner, to prevent my tantrum soon replies;
“I do not need either your volley or your top-spin lob,
Your fluffed return, with neither slice nor swerve.
For fetching drop shots I have all the speed.
With your knees you’re confined to static job!”

They also rate, who only stand and serve.
Michael Brigg

Garry R

Re: Handicap Racing

Post by Garry R » Mon Jan 05, 2009 5:47 pm

In a similar vein

Sailing


When I was ten
I had just begun then.

When I was twenty
I was getting plenty.

When I was thirty,
It started to hurt me.

When I was forty,
I was not quite so sporty.

When I was fifty,
I was not quite so nifty.

But now I am Sixty, I'm as useless as ever.
And I think I'll be sixty for ever and ever.


With apologies to AAMilne from Now We Are Six

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Ancient Geek
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Location: Sletten,3250, Denmark and Hampshire GU33 7LR UK

Re: Off Topic posts from Handicap Racing thread

Post by Ancient Geek » Wed Jan 07, 2009 9:51 pm

Point of order Garry is not useless.
Simples.

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