Happy Christmas

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Ancient Geek
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Happy Christmas

Post by Ancient Geek » Mon Dec 14, 2009 11:53 am

Happy Christmas and Happy New Year, fair winds warm days uncrowded roads.
To wish you a very Happy Christmas.

Goodness knows when the cards (Posted!) will arrive so.......

To assure you that Santa has passed his CRB Check and his sleigh and the reindeer have been fully Elf n Safety checked, risks assesed and the appropriate measures put in place.
and
Thanks to those unsung heroes, the RAF in-flight re-fuelers, who fly where their US equivalents refuse to, (Well at least it cuts down "Friendly Fire"!) over Afghanistan, Santa will get through.

Thank you all for your friendship, support, understanding, and tolerence throughout the year past, my best wishes and thanks to you all. Friendship to all and support to those bravely facing hardship, bad news and difficulties. Hopes for a really "cracking" New Year.
MVH
AG
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Simples.

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Nessa
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Re: Happy Christmas

Post by Nessa » Tue Dec 15, 2009 6:30 pm

Thanks AG. That'll not be a British Airways plane then..... :roll:
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Ancient Geek
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Re: Happy Christmas

Post by Ancient Geek » Tue Dec 15, 2009 8:06 pm

Indeed not its a DC10 RAF (AKA Crab Air.) refueler the have joke notices at the back for American Pilots who are refueling "Cash only"!
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davidh
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Re: Happy Christmas

Post by davidh » Tue Dec 22, 2009 11:34 am

and a happy christmas to you all from downtown Brisbane where it remains hot, humid and windy - whilst I remain onshore(have aussie boat but need urgent apllication of some carbon fibre and bog)

seeing Mercury Bob and sue tomorrow for fish and chips on the seafront

see you all in the new year

D

PS - the story continues...
http://bearfacemedia.co.uk/brisbaneblog5.aspx

will be posting regular updates on the site

D
David H

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jpa_wfsc
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Re: Happy Christmas

Post by jpa_wfsc » Tue Dec 22, 2009 11:54 am

Happy Christmas to one and all, especially those bogged down in Australia. I guess the trains are still running there, though?

Meanwhile: I nicked this from two places (i.e. someone else nicked it before me)... my Parish Priest, and the Times Educational Supplement. Who is in breech of (c) then? Still fun though! Must think about sialing during this evenings carol service and see if some similar but more relevant sailing tweeks can be done..
Please note the following Health & Safety and Equality Considerations for Christmas Songs

The Rocking Song
Little Jesus, sweetly sleep, do not stir;
We will lend a coat of fur,
We will rock you, rock you, rock you,
We will rock you, rock you, rock you:

Fur is no longer appropriate wear for small infants, both due to risk of allergy to animal fur, and for ethical reasons. Therefore faux fur, a nice cellular blanket or perhaps micro-fleece material should be considered a suitable alternative.

Please note, only persons who have been subject to a Criminal Records Bureau check and have enhanced clearance will be permitted to rock baby Jesus. Such persons must carry their CRB disclosure with them at all times and be prepared to provide three forms of identification before rocking commences.


Jingle Bells
Dashing through the snow
In a one horse open sleigh
O'er the fields we go
Laughing all the way

A risk assessment must be submitted before an open sleigh is considered safe for members of the public to travel on. The risk assessment must also consider whether it is appropriate to use only one horse for such a venture, particularly if passengers are of larger proportions. Please note: permission must be gained from landowners before entering their fields. To avoid offending those not participating in celebrations, we would request that laughter is moderate only and not loud enough to be considered noise pollution.


While Shepherds Watched
While shepherds watched
Their flocks by night
All seated on the ground
The angel of the Lord came down
And glory shone around

The Union of Shepherds has complained that it breaches health and safety regulations to insist that shepherds watch their flocks without appropriate seating arrangements being provided, therefore benches, stools and orthopaedic chairs must be made available. Shepherds have also requested that, due to the inclement weather conditions at this time of year, they should watch their flocks via cctv cameras from centrally heated observation huts.
Please note, the angel of the lord is reminded that before shining his/her glory all around she/he must ascertain that all shepherds have been issued with glasses capable of filtering out the harmful effects of UVA, UVB and Glory.

Rudolph the red nosed reindeer
Rudolph, the red-nosed reindeer
had a very shiny nose.
And if you ever saw him,
you would even say it glows.

You are advised that under the Equal Opportunities for All policy, it is inappropriate for persons to make comment with regard to the ruddiness of any part of Mr. R. Reindeer. Further to this, exclusion of Mr R Reindeer from the Reindeer Games will be considered discriminatory and disciplinary action will be taken against those found guilty of this offence. A full investigation will be implemented and sanctions - including suspension on full pay - will be considered whilst this investigation takes place.


Little Donkey
Little donkey, little donkey on the dusty road
Got to keep on plodding onwards with your precious load

The RSPCA have strict guidelines with regard to how heavy a load that a donkey of small stature is permitted to carry, also included in the guidelines is guidance regarding how often to feed the donkey and how many rest breaks are required over a four hour plodding period. Please note that due to the increased risk of pollution from the dusty road, Mary and Joseph are required to wear face masks to prevent inhalation of any airborne particles. The donkey has expressed his discomfort at being labelled 'little' and would prefer just to be simply referred to as Mr. Donkey. To comment upon his height or lack thereof may be considered an infringement of his equine rights.


We Three Kings
We three kings of Orient are
Bearing gifts we traverse afar
Field and fountain, moor and mountain
Following yonder star

Whilst the gift of gold is still considered acceptable - as it may be redeemed at a later date through such organisations as 'cash for gold' etc, gifts of frankincense and myrrh are not appropriate due to the potential risk of oils and fragrances causing allergic reactions. A suggested gift alternative would be to make a donation to a worthy cause in the recipient's name or perhaps give a gift voucher.
We would advise that the traversing kings do not rely on navigation by stars in order to reach their destinations and suggest the use of AA Routefinder or GSP navigation, which will provide the quickest route and advice regarding fuel consumption. Please note as per the guidelines from the RSPCA for Mr Donkey, the camels carrying the three kings of Orient will require regular food and rest breaks. Facemasks for the three kings are also advisable due to the likelihood of dust from the camels hooves.


Away in a Manger
Away in a Manger No Crib for a bed -

Social Services will visit and may remove any child to a place of safety pending further action against parents, or other persons, who may be found to be guilty of neglect by not providing adequate bedding and shelter for a child in their care. Criminal proceedings may be instituted after a case study has been carried out and fully discussed at a full meeting of the appropriate Social Services Committee.

MartinH
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Re: Happy Christmas

Post by MartinH » Tue Dec 22, 2009 11:03 pm

Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit, my best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low stress, non-addictive, gender neutral celebration of the winter solstice holiday (which, by no means is meant to be prejudicial to those of an antipodean’s nature), practiced with the most enjoyable traditions of religious persuasion or secular practices of your choice with respect for the religious/secular persuasions and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all.

I also wish you a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted Gregorian calendar year 2010, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures whose contributions to society have helped make our country great and without regard to the race, creed, colour, age, physical ability, religious faith, sexual preference or class of boat of the wishee.

By accepting this greeting, you are accepting these terms: This greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal. It is freely transferable with no alteration to the original greeting. It implies no promise by the wisher to actually implement any of the wishes for her/himself or others and is void where prohibited by law, and is revocable at the sole discretion of the wisher. This wish is warranted to perform as expected within the usual application of good tidings for a period of one year or until the issuance of a subsequent holiday greeting, whichever comes first, and warranty is limited to replacement of this wish or issuance of a new wish at the sole discretion of the wisher.
Martin
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Michael Brigg
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Re: Happy Christmas

Post by Michael Brigg » Wed Dec 23, 2009 2:07 pm

Sunday, December 20, 2009
Media doesn't get scientist's X-mas joke, hilarity ensues...
Image

Santa's a Health Menace? Media Everywhere Are Falling for It—But the Study Was Meant as a Joke
by Ashley Merryman
from Newsweek.com

Around the world, news outlets have been reporting on a new study in BMJ, the U.K.'s leading medical journal.

In the article, titled "Santa Claus: A Public Health Pariah?," Australian epidemiologist Nathan Grills meticulously
lays out the reasons why Santa Claus is a terrible role model—a danger to children everywhere.
Here is a link to an article about Dr Grill's paper in the BMJ. Have fun! (And Bah Humbug?

http://dnapes.blogspot.com/2009/12/medi ... -joke.html
Michael Brigg

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Ancient Geek
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Re: Happy Christmas

Post by Ancient Geek » Thu Dec 24, 2009 5:17 pm

Have you notice how miserable very thin people are?
Have a good time.
AG
Simples.

Rupert
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Re: Happy Christmas

Post by Rupert » Fri Dec 25, 2009 12:31 am

Happy Christmas to one and all, fat or thin, young or old!
Rupert

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Ancient Geek
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Re: Happy Christmas

Post by Ancient Geek » Fri Dec 25, 2009 10:33 am

Indeed and as I crack my post prandial walnuts and sip my kummel, I shall think of you all!
Simples.

Rupert
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Re: Happy Christmas

Post by Rupert » Fri Dec 25, 2009 11:25 am

I hope you are saving the shells!

Family gone to church, Xmas pudding on the warm, 5 minutes peace before starting to cook. Bliss!
Rupert

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Ancient Geek
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Re: Happy Christmas

Post by Ancient Geek » Fri Dec 25, 2009 7:59 pm

Sprouts not on yet?
Turkey been on since Monday?
Saved the shells but you buy them by the sack full and they are almost powder!
Simples.

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